The World Doesn't Revolve Around me

It doesn't? Hmm. Those who know me well will agree that I'm a little hypersensitive and quick to jump to conclusions. I think that people who haven't called me back or hung out with me in awhile hate me or are mad at me. I think when I call people are sitting by their phones waiting for me to need them. I think that I'm everyone's only and best friend. Now, logically I know this isn't true, but really this is how I feel. Seriously. I need a lot of attention. I'm not proud of it. I'm getting better at dealing with it. I also push people away and piss them off before they can do it to me. Despite how funny, sexy and amazing I am I actually have terribly low self esteem for someone so wonderful. There is an old story my father tells which reminds me of myself. The story goes a little something like this:

A man is driving down this old dirt road late at night. Where he is going and why is not really important. He's driving along when suddenly he hits a rock and gets a flat tire. He pulls over to the side of the road to inspect his car. Luckily he has a spare tire, but no jack. He sees a little farm house in the distance and decides he will knock on their door and ask to borrow a jack for his car. He begins to walk down the road to the farmhouse. He says to himself, "Oh I hope its not too late to knock on their door", But he pushes that aside and continues walking. "Its really late, and I am going to make them really mad at me", he says to himself. He continues getting closer and closer to the house. "Why would they get so angry at me? Who are they to judge me?", he says to himself as he starts up the farmhouse's driveway. "Those assholes think I'm bothering them! I'm just a nice guy out for a drive! I can't help the fact I have a flat tire." He's almost at the front door now. "Who the hell do they think they are wondering why I don't have a jack of my own?" He walks up the front step. He rings the door bell. By now he is furious. An elderly man in his bathrobe answers the door and before he can say one word the man shouts in his face, "YOU CAN KEEP YOUR FUCKING JACK!!!!!!!", turns around and walks into the night.

I am that man. Before someone can deny me I make up all kinds of reasons why they have insulted me or wronged me and essentially tell them to fuck off. If I have done that to one of you, I am sorry. How dare you judge me. What? My apology isn't good enough? Well you can kiss my big, Jewis--- Oh. Whoops. Sorry!!!